So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
