My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
