We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
