They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
