she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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