I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you win again, gameday.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
