Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
