Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
