would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize