Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
