you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i think im in europe. pls send help
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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