If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Drunk is not a location!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
