her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So many bounce houses so little time
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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