I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
