So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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