i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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