i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
