on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
