get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
