I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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