There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
