That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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