Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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