You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
