This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
