Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize