I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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