you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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