That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
