Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How does one acquire holy water?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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