meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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