Where did you get a picture of my penis
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
