I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
