on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
