Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
