i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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