Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
