Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
