i just made my gag reflex go away.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
