That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
