Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
