Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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