I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
