Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
