So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
