Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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