Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
