Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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