And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
