i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
